You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
