my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm eating all of the evidence.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
