it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
