R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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