i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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