My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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