the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
