plz talk dirty to me
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Randomize