You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
