Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
