and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
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Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
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I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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