What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
