Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
