I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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