and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
