How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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