so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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