he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
