haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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