I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
