He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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