It's Friday. Sex?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
