they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Randomize
