Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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