I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
