I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
