I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
