I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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