we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
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He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Dicks are not precious.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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