She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
