and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
