Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
