Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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