I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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