but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
