At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
3 2 1 whiskey
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
