so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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