dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
third nipple confirmed
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
