just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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