Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
