What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
