he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He? As in you personified your dick?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
