So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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