Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
