I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
