Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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