You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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