She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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