well I can't set my house on fire every night
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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