come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
