Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
