just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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