But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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