my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
