What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
