is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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