If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
