Just mADE A PArabola og urine
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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