you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I need a beard to bite.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
