I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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