I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
