it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
