Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
