Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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