Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
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Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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