Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
