ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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